Comparing Myself to Me

So yesterday, Carlee had a really thoughtful post about wanting to be better than she is already. As I was responding to what she wrote, I found myself thinking about things Christopher and I have spent a lot of time talking about lately. So I thought I’d share.

I’ve been working with teen girls since I was still a teen girl. For 6 years I’ve been involved in loving, teaching, and mentoring teenage girls. In those years, I have had the same conversation a million times. Don’t compare yourself to others. You aren’t others. You are you. Usually this is because Girl1 doesn’t feel that she’s as pretty as Girl2 or as smart as Girl3 or as talented as Girl4, etc. Constantly comparing yourself to others and feeling badly about yourself as a result, is no way to live life. Now, I could talk about this for ages – give lots of examples and etc. However, that’s a post for another time.

You see, lately, Christopher and I have realized that we compare ourselves to others and use that to justify things.

“Well, yes, I bought something on sale at Target that I didn’t really need, but at least I don’t spend as much money as so-and-so spends on clothes” or “yeah, I spent $5 on Starbucks coffee this morning when I could’ve made it at home, but at least I’m not like so-and-so who buys coffee every day,” etc.

Picking up the theme? We can never grow and better ourselves as long as we are comparing ourselves to “everyone else.”

[side note: we don’t look down on the people we know who spend more money than we do – we love our friends. We just find ourselves using those people as an excuse for us to not watch our spending]

I need to compare myself to me.

Am I living better today than I did yesterday?

Am I meeting my expectations for myself instead of living to someone else’s standards?

Just some things Christopher and I have been talking about lately so I thought I’d share. 🙂

Fridays are add-more-recipes-to-the-website day! So today’s recipes are:

Cake Pops

Ingredients:

1 box sugar free chocolate cake mix (cook as directed on box for 13 X 9 cake)
1 can sugar free cream cheese frosting (16 oz.)
1 package sugar free chocolate chips

Directions:

1. After cake is cooked and cooled completely, crumble into large bowl.

2. Mix thoroughly with 1 can cream cheese frosting (PW suggests 3/4 can for less mushy balls)

3. Roll mixture into quarter size balls and lay on cookie sheet. (Should make 45-50)

4. Put in freezer in 1 hour.

5. Melt chocolate in microwave. We add a little canola oil to make the chocolate spread more easily.

6. Roll balls in chocolate and lay on wax paper until firm. (Use a spoon to dip and roll in chocolate and then tap off extra.)

Recipe is slightly adapted from ThePioneerWoman and Bakerella.

—-

Braised Balsamic Chicken 

Ingredients:

6 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves
ground black pepper to taste
1 teaspoon garlic salt
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 onion, thinly sliced
1/2 cup balsamic vinegar
1 (14.5 ounce) can diced tomatoes
1 teaspoon dried basil
1 teaspoon dried oregano
1 teaspoon dried rosemary
1/2 teaspoon dried thyme

Directions:

1. Season chicken breasts with ground black pepper and garlic salt. Heat olive oil in a medium skillet, and brown the onion. Set aside then brown seasoned chicken breasts.

2. Pour tomatoes and balsamic vinegar over chicken, and season with basil, oregano, rosemary and thyme. Toss onions back in. Simmer until chicken is no longer pink and the juices run clear, about 15 minutes.

Recipe slightly adapted from: http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Braised-Balsamic-Chicken/Detail.aspx

—–

Stuffed Crust Pizza Snacks

Ingredients:

2 cans refrigerated pizza crust
8 oz mozzarella cheese, cut into 48 cubes
48 slices turkey pepperoni (3 oz)
1/4 cup olive oil
1 1/2 teaspoons dried Italian seasoning
2 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese
1 recipe Momma’s Pizza Sauce, heated

Directions:

1. Heat oven to 400°F. Spray two 9-inch pie pans or one 13×9-inch pan with nonstick cooking spray. Remove dough from both cans. Unroll dough; starting at center, press out each dough rectangle with hands to form 12×8-inch rectangle. Cut each rectangle into 24 squares.

2. Top each square with cheese cube and pepperoni slice. Wrap dough around filling to completely cover; firmly press edges to seal. Place seam side down with sides touching in sprayed pie pans.

3. In small bowl, combine oil and Italian seasoning; mix well. Drizzle over filled dough in pans. Sprinkle with Parmesan cheese.

4. Bake at 400°F. for 16 to 22 minutes or until golden brown. Serve warm pizza bites with warm pizza sauce.

Recipe from Pillsbury

—-

You guys seriously need to try the Cake Balls. They are fabulous. For real. 😀

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42 responses to “Comparing Myself to Me

  1. “I need to compare myself to me.

    Am I living better today than I did yesterday?

    Am I meeting my expectations for myself instead of living to someone else’s standards?”

    AMEN to that sister! I loved reading this; I could relate to it in so many ways! Comparing myself to others is something I did all the time, so thanks for this!

  2. Love this! In the end, the only person you are trying to better is yourself! So it makes’ perfect sense that you only should only make comparisons with yourself as well! ❤

  3. TOTALLY agree. LOVE LOVE LOVE your quotes. Words to live by!

  4. Thanks for sharing and you are totally right, we all need to ask ourselves these questions to grow and become a better person for yourself!

  5. Well said! I am always comparing myself to others…its a bad habit that is easier to do than not to do. Ive been working on it, and think im getting better!

    I just checked out the cake balls recipe…my sweet tooth has awoken 🙂

  6. I love this girl! I’ve actually beeen thinking about that today!
    I am me! am Carlee and nobody else. I need to be the best I can be. not others.

  7. This was an awesome post! And so true. I do that as well, especially when it comes to shopping! I think I’ll work on comparing me to me more often as well 🙂

    PS – All I ever hear about any more is cake balls! I’m not big on cake though so I don’t think I’ll like them! Tragic, no?

  8. Thank you for this. I am guilty of the comparisons for justification’s sake, and it’s terrible. Seeing it written out like this is kind of like a slap in the face (a much needed one, of course.) Thank you!

  9. I love this!! Such a good mentality. And it’s funny, because I can easily do this for athletic things like running (trying to run faster than before or PR in a race, etc) but when it comes to “life things” I often fall short. I find myself making similar comparisons to the ones you described. I should be focus on comparing myself to ONLY myself instead — it’s the only way to actually grow.

    • Yes! Exactly!

      That is really interesting that you are so good about comparing yourself to yourself in some areas, but not others. I guess now that I stop and think about it, I am too. I’ve worked long and hard to compare my body only to my body and not to anyone else’s. ‘Cause even if I’m more slender than so-and-so, there will ALWAYS be some one smaller than me. I mean, I’m 5’8 for crying out loud, there’s no way I’ll ever be the smallest, haha! But yeah, I’m glad I’m not alone in using comparisons to justify things I want to do/buy/etc.

  10. you are your own worst enemy ! I totally do the mental games of comparing myself to other people. that’s what it is: me doing it to myself. I love how you change it to being your own measurement of how you’re doing. Am I improving myself today? great post

  11. That’s so true that we can’t grow if we’re constantly comparing ourselves to other people because no matter what, they’ll always seem a step ahead. When in reality, they’re thinking the same about us. The best thing we can do for ourselves is to live day to day and get a little bit better each day..just a little, that’s all it takes.

  12. Love the idea of comparing me to me…..I am completely guilty of comparing myself to others….all….the….frickin….time! It’s not fair to me though since some peoples situations may seem better or worse than yours but you really can’t tell from the outside. When it comes down to things, I have it pretty good but compared to some other people I feel like my life is in shambles.

  13. LOVE love LOVE this post! Comparing ourselves to others is just setting up for failure…recognizing progress in ourselves is definitely what we should all focus on. Sometimes I need to remind myself of this! 🙂

  14. Hiya 🙂 thanks for commenting on my blog! Nice to meet you!

    And I can definitely relate to this…it’s so easy to feel bad about yourself and find it hard to set your own goals when you’re letting other people set the standards. Good for you and your husband for catching that early 🙂

    • Haha, well it’s been a long time coming for us to realize it. We’ve been doing it for years. I’m just glad we did finally realize what we were doing so we can keep each other accountable to stop! 🙂

      And thanks for coming by my blog and leaving a comment! 🙂

  15. I love this post! I believe it’s so important to not compare myself to others and not judge other people. It’s something I try to work on everyday, because it’s a hard thing not to do.

    • You’re so right! It really is difficult not to do. I think we’re programmed that way – taught from an early age that we are supposed to compare ourselves to others. It’s a hard habit to break!

  16. What a wonderful, encouraging thing you do for those girls!! It’s hard knowing what to do and applying how to do it. I think you are doing a tremendous job and are a great example to them and others. Beautiful!!

    • I really love my girls. 6 years of teen girls has been a combination of camp and 3 different youth groups. I’ve been with the current group for a year and a half now and I just love them to pieces. It’s good to have them in my life because it keeps me accountable to being a better person! I have so many young eyes watching me and seeing every step I take.

  17. Very true! It reminds me of a person I know in AA who says after he hears other people share their stories, he feels better because at least “he didn’t sniff coke on the floors like so-and-so.” It makes me sigh, because he doesn’t realize I could just as easily say “well, at least I don’t get drunk and drive home.”

    We really hold ourselves back when we let other people determine our character, don’t we?

    Great post 🙂

  18. I understand what you mean, and you are a very bright, thoughtful young woman.
    Do you recognize also that, sometimes you are in such a thoughtful mood, feeling connected with yourself and the outside world, and then there are other moments, you feel totally disconnected and blind of who you are and what you want to be?
    Being older now, I somewhat know that this mood will go away and my happy, open vision mood will come back again 🙂
    Have a nice weekend!

    • I don’t know that I realize in the moment that I’m disconnected and blind to what is going on, but many times I have looked back and realized that I didn’t have a clue what was happening at the time and it makes more sense in retrospect. 🙂

  19. Wise, wise words! I have to remind myself all the time, that while I am worrying about myself compared to so-and-so, they are probably worrying about themselves compared to so-and-so! Life is simply too short. You have to live it for YOU! Thanks for the reminder!

    • Yes, yes! You are exactly right! I’ve so often seen girls come to the realization of “what do you mean, you were jealous of my hair? I was jealous of your legs!” or whatever the case is. But yeah, you are so right! 🙂

  20. This post… is beautiful. And so needed in today’s society. Thank you for shedding light on this!!!!!!!

  21. Pingback: 7 Links And Tasty Food! |

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