How well do you know me?

This past weekend we went to a wedding shower for some of our friends who are getting married this summer. While there we played that wonderful, age-old, couples game. The “How Well Do You Know Me?” game. I answered the questions about myself and Christopher had to guess what I had written down.

Christopher knows that my favorite color is tiffany blue, that I am obsessed with pizza, that Christmas is my favorite holiday, that I shop for clothes almost exclusively at thrift stores, that Downhere is my favorite band, that I adore the beach, and will generally choose water over any other beverage. And that is just the beginning. People were amazed not only at our ability to match up answers, but even more how specifically matched they were. For example, for the question “What is his/her favorite dessert?” I wrote down “Can’t have dessert… fruit?” and thinking that we would just have to sacrifice that one because he would likely answer with one of my old favorite desserts from when I still used Splenda regularly. However, when he had to answer he said, “That’s not a fair question. She can’t have dessert. But she does eat fruit when she wants something sweet.” I am pretty sure some people thought we must have been cheating since our answers aligned so perfectly, but in reality we just know each other well.

Partially I think these games are always easy for us because we’ve been together for so long (I mean, we started dating in 2004 for crying out loud – that was half my teen years and my entire adult life so far). Partially because we really are besties. And partially because we both feel that communication is so incredibly vital to any lasting relationship.

While at the shower we filled out little advice cards for the bride & groom. I asked Christopher what advice we should give and he quite simply said “communicate.” 🙂 It is the first advice he gives anyone in a relationship. Communicating means no brushing things aside or pretending you aren’t upset. It means saying all the words out loud that your actions are confirming (I love you, you are beautiful, I am so thankful we are together, etc) instead of just assuming the other person already knows. It means talking things out. It means listening. Not just hearing words, but actually listening and comprehending what is being said so that you can formulate a thoughtful response. We learned the hard way how vital communication is to a relationship during our first year of dating. It took us a good year after that to really learn the ins and outs of communicating with each other. It is definitely a learned skill, but so worth learning. 🙂

Haha! So this was actually just supposed to be a short little post about the wedding shower, but now I’ve gone on and on about communication (ha! I’m communicating to you how important communication is… teehee!). Ah, oh well, sometimes these things take a life of their own. 🙂


21 responses to “How well do you know me?

  1. Oh my gosh, that is SO cute!!!! that’s awesome that I knows you so well! you guys are too adorable 🙂

  2. i love that you both got to attend the wedding shower for your friends. I know so many people who have opted for a co-ed party rather than say a bachelor/bachelorette party – so cool. communication is most certainly essential. This year we’ll be celebrating 16 years of marriage, and staying in sync definitely helps when there is healthy communication….and LOL, sometimes posts do take on a life of their own 😉

  3. Reblogged this on Maggie Mae's Days and commented:
    I really couldn’t have said it better! Communication really is the key to everything in life … relationships … friendships…

    Rach and her hubby never fail to amaze me. Their relationship is one we should all strive towards. Throughout the last 1+ years I have learned so much by reading of their adventures and journey; always bringing a smile to my face. Their marriage is strong and sweet and so beautiful. Truly inspiring.

    Take a read… really pay attention to the “communication is” bit, I know I sure am happy that I did.

    Thanks, Rach!!!

  4. It’s great advice, though, and oh so true. Whenever we write out wedding cards, we always say that the best piece of advice we have was actually given to us by my grandparents: The three most important words in a happy marriage are “You’re probably right.” We always joke that this is of course after “I love you” but honestly “You’re probably right” has been equally helpful. Sometimes you have to know when to give in, stop arguing, really listen and see if the other person could be probably right. It’s really hard for me because I start out every argument completely 100% sure that he is Wrong and I am Right, but by the end we’ve found somewhere in the middle and can move on from there. Which of course can’t happen without your good advice of communication. Ok, wrote a whole post in your comments here, sorry!

  5. Ahh this is wonderful! Thanks Rach for sharing this… We do need to work out on our communicating and we did learn the hard way too. Things are getting better but we know we still have room for improvement.. =)

  6. songskatesang

    It is so, very true. Great advice. you guys are blessed to have one another!

  7. Really awesome post! Enjoyed reading every bit of it 😀 So true how communication plays a huuge role in relationships!

  8. It’s good advice, you guys are so cute!

  9. Ohh my goodness this is adorable!! I LOVE this post!! I couldn’t agree more about the communication! Excellent advice!

  10. That’s Ben’s answer too!

  11. That’s so awesome that you could answer all the questions right! And I totally agree with your communication advice. Deep down, we really want to be known for who we are most intimately by our spouse, and being best friends is the way to achieve that. Since I tend to avoid conflict, I have a hard time communicating well. We’ve come a long way, but we have lots more to learn 🙂

  12. Have a great weekend!

  13. becomingbianca

    I’m so happy you are married to your bestie! I can honestly say there is no one better to marry than one’s bestie 🙂 And bravo on the advice – I got married later in life so while we may have been past natural immaturities, I think EVERYONE who gets married needs a lesson in communication. Perhaps us even moreso since we were so set in our ways from all our years of singleness! This post made me totally smile – I hope y’all have a great weekend!

  14. That’s so sweet! Communication is definitely so important in a relationship!

  15. What a lovely picture of you too. Your husband looks like a puppy, haha. And i agree with his suggestion, communication solves all the problems…

  16. Rach DonutsMama

    You are very wise to have learned that lesson early on. It’s so important to talk to your spouse (and friends and family too!). You often realize that things get taken the wrong way when you fail to talk to each other–it makes things so much worse! So yes, communication is VITAL!

  17. anshulrautela

    great post! God bless you both… 🙂

  18. I’m impressed – I doubt my hubby and I could do this.

  19. 8 years and still going strong! Love the wedding pic! Couldn’t agree more, communication is so important in any relationship

  20. Pingback: Oh, by the way, I have a blog… |

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