This past weekend we went to a wedding shower for some of our friends who are getting married this summer. While there we played that wonderful, age-old, couples game. The “How Well Do You Know Me?” game. I answered the questions about myself and Christopher had to guess what I had written down.
Christopher knows that my favorite color is tiffany blue, that I am obsessed with pizza, that Christmas is my favorite holiday, that I shop for clothes almost exclusively at thrift stores, that Downhere is my favorite band, that I adore the beach, and will generally choose water over any other beverage. And that is just the beginning. People were amazed not only at our ability to match up answers, but even more how specifically matched they were. For example, for the question “What is his/her favorite dessert?” I wrote down “Can’t have dessert… fruit?” and thinking that we would just have to sacrifice that one because he would likely answer with one of my old favorite desserts from when I still used Splenda regularly. However, when he had to answer he said, “That’s not a fair question. She can’t have dessert. But she does eat fruit when she wants something sweet.” I am pretty sure some people thought we must have been cheating since our answers aligned so perfectly, but in reality we just know each other well.
Partially I think these games are always easy for us because we’ve been together for so long (I mean, we started dating in 2004 for crying out loud – that was half my teen years and my entire adult life so far). Partially because we really are besties. And partially because we both feel that communication is so incredibly vital to any lasting relationship.
While at the shower we filled out little advice cards for the bride & groom. I asked Christopher what advice we should give and he quite simply said “communicate.” 🙂 It is the first advice he gives anyone in a relationship. Communicating means no brushing things aside or pretending you aren’t upset. It means saying all the words out loud that your actions are confirming (I love you, you are beautiful, I am so thankful we are together, etc) instead of just assuming the other person already knows. It means talking things out. It means listening. Not just hearing words, but actually listening and comprehending what is being said so that you can formulate a thoughtful response. We learned the hard way how vital communication is to a relationship during our first year of dating. It took us a good year after that to really learn the ins and outs of communicating with each other. It is definitely a learned skill, but so worth learning. 🙂
Haha! So this was actually just supposed to be a short little post about the wedding shower, but now I’ve gone on and on about communication (ha! I’m communicating to you how important communication is… teehee!). Ah, oh well, sometimes these things take a life of their own. 🙂