My anthem changes. My favorite songs change. My favorite scriptures, quotes, and phrases change. Words and music touch my heart in such a special way. And depending on what is happening in life at the moment, that flux of emotions usually dictates the type of song that becomes my anthem. There was a week last summer where “Walkin’ On Sunshine” was stuck in my head for days. As of this week my anthem has become the song “Shoulders” by For King and Country.
“You carry my weakness, my sickness, my brokenness all on Your shoulders…”
“I don’t have to see to believe that You’re lifting me up on Your shoulders…”
Those two lines… they are where I am today. Where I’ve been this whole week really. The entire song is amazing, but those lines have been on repeat in my heart. I know posting vague references can be obnoxious and I don’t mean to be like that. I’m just not quite sure that I’m ready to open up so publicly. And yet I still want to share my heart in a small way.
I found out some bad news today. But it’s not the worst news. In fact I’ve suspected that it might be coming since earlier this week. But it’s still a little bit difficult to wrap my head around. I am drawn back to my thoughts on Dayenu. To remind myself of the crazy blessed life I get to lead. Of all that God has done for me already. It really has been sufficient. When I feel my heart beginning to break just a little, I remind myself that God is good and that He is faithful and that He is walking with me.
He carries my weakness, my sickness, and my brokenness on His shoulders. And I don’t have to see to believe it. I’m young in many ways, but I have walked this path with Jesus for a long time now. And He has been so faithful to me every single step of the way. I know He’s not letting me go now. And like I mentioned in my post about fasting – it’s not about always getting what we want. But about our hearts becoming more in tune with His.
And you guys, I can’t write all of this without mentioning my sweet husband and what an amazing man he is. I truly can’t say enough good things about Christopher through all this. Gentle and patient and kind. Loving and strong. I am so very thankful that I get to live life with him.
So this anthem of “Shoulders” may seem a little depressing because clearly life isn’t exactly “Walkin’ on Sunshine” right now. But that’s how life is. Ups and downs. But for me, this song reminds me that there is so much hope. Because no matter what news or outcome or loss, I know that God is good, He is faithful, and He isn’t letting go of us.